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pastime of kite flying, with, a touch of the
angler's quality in landing his scaly prey
much impressed me. Suddenly, too, a banner
would shiver in the wind, and go about in
the most inconvenient manner. This always
happened oftenest with such gorgeous
standards as those representing a gentleman
in black, corpulent with tea and
water, in the laudable act of summarily
reforming a family feeble and pinched with
beer. The gentleman in black distended by
wind would then conduct himself with the
most unbecoming levity, while the beery
family, growing beerier, would frantically
try to tear themselves away from his
ministration. Some of the inscriptions
accompanying the banners were of a highly
determined character, as " We never, never, will
give up the temperance cause": with similar
sound resolutions, rather suggestive to
the profane mind of Mrs. Micawber's " I
never will desert Mr. Micawber," and of Mr.
Micawber's retort, " Really, my dear, I am
not aware that you were ever required by
any human being to do anything of the

At intervals a gloom would fall on the
passing members of the procession, for
which I was at first unable to account.
But this I discovered, after a little
observation, to be occasioned by the coming-on
of the Executionersthe terrible official
Beings who were to make the speeches
bye-and-byewho were distributed in open
carriages at various points of the
cavalcade. A dark cloud and a sensation of
dampness, as from many wet blankets,
invariably preceded the rolling on of the
dreadful cars containing these Headsmen,
and I noticed that the wretched people
who closely followed them, and who were
in a manner forced to contemplate their
folded arms, complacent countenances, and
threatening lips, were more overshadowed
by the cloud and damp than those in front.
Indeed, I perceived in some of these so
moody an implacability towards the magnates
of the scaffold, and so plain a desire
to tear them limb from limb, that I would
respectfully suggest to the managers the
expediency of conveying the Executioners
to the scene of their dismal labours by
unfrequented ways, and in closely tilted
carts, next Whitsuntide.

The Procession was composed of a series
of smaller processions which had come
together, each from its own metropolitan
district. An infusion of Allegory became
perceptible when patriotic Peckham advanced.
So I judged, from the circumstance of Peckham's
unfurling a silken banner that fanned
Heaven and Earth with the words " The
Peckham Life Boat." No Boat being in
attendance, though Life, in the likeness of " a
gallant, gallant, crew" in nautical uniform
followed the flag, I was led to meditate on
the fact that Peckham is described by
Geographers as an inland settlement with
no larger or nearer shore-line than the
towing-path of the Surrey Canal, on which
stormy station I had been given to
understand no Life Boat exists. Thus I
deduced an allegorical meaning, and came
to the conclusion that if patriotic Peckham
picked a peck of pickled poetry, this was
the peck of pickled poetry which patriotic
Peckham picked.

I have observed that the aggregate
Procession was on the whole pleasant to see.
I made use of that qualified expression with
a direct meaning which I will now explain.
It involves the title of this paper, and a
little fair trying of Tee-Totalism by its own

There were many people on foot, and
many people in vehicles of various kinds.
The former were pleasant to see, and the
latter were not pleasant to see: for the reason
that I never, on any occasion or under any
circumstances, have beheld heavier
overloading of horses than in this public show.
Unless the imposition of a great van
laden with from ten to twenty people on a
single horse be a moderate tasking of the
poor creature, then the Temperate use of
horses was immoderate and cruel. From
the smallest and lightest horse to the largest
and heaviest, there were many instances
in which the beast of burden was so
shamefully overladen, that the Society for
the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals has
frequently interposed in less gross cases.

Now, I have always held that there may
be, and that there unquestionably is, such
a thing as Use without Abuse, and that
therefore the Total Abolitionists are
irrational and wrong-headed. But the
Procession completely converted me. For, so
large a number of the people using draught-
horses in it were clearly unable to Use
them without Abusing them, that I perceived
Total Abstinence from Horseflesh to
be the only remedy of which the case
admitted. As it is all one to Tee-Totallers
whether you take half a pint of beer or half a
gallon, so it was all one here whether the
beast of burden were a pony or a cart-horse.
Indeed, my case had the special strength
that the half-pint quadruped underwent as
much suffering as the half-gallon quadruped.