+ ~ -
 
Please report pronunciation problems here. Select and sample other voices. Options Pause Play
 
Report an Error
Go!
 
Go!
 
TOC
 

I fearlessly claim for my Penny sporting guide, a
range of information and a profundity of
knowledge which it would be difficult to surpass
What is it to me if the Rough share my
partiality for vigorous Saxon, or be delighted as I
am with words and phrases it requires natural
aptitude and a special education to understand?
Find me a newspaper in which races, fights,
hunts, coursing-meetings, advertisements,
answers to, and letters from, correspondents, are
more thoroughly in accordance with what we
have ever been taught to consider good sporting
taste, and I will admit that what is sauce for
the rough is not sauce for the clean-shirted
turfite; but, till then, pardon me if I hold to
my original views, and maintain the excellence
of my organ as an astute Mentor and a just
judge.

Opening one of its recent numbers, and turning
to its advertisement-sheet, I gain, as usual,
much valuable information. The weak-minded
and credulous people who believe the form of
gambling known as " sweepstakes" to be
suppressed by act of parliament, would do well to
read with me the seductive offers of Messrs.
Bilson and Nixon, of Mr. Tenstun, or Mr.
Chancer. The first gentlemen advertise a
"sweep of three thousand members at one
shilling each, to be drawn every Monday throughout
the year;" and you or I, or any one blessed
with a shilling, or the means of making or taking
one, have but to send it to these philanthropists
to obtain a vested interest in the following
splendid contingencies: " First horse, twenty-
five pounds; second horse, twelve pounds;
third horse, seven pounds; twenty pounds
amongst starters; twenty pounds amongst non-
starters; fifty prizes of ten shillings; one
hundred prizes of five shillings." This applies to a
forthcoming handicap; but Messrs. Bilson and
Co. are kind enough to make provision for their
customers every Monday, so that there need be
no waiting for " events" before the fate of your
shilling or mine is known. The process of
investing is simplicity itself. Direct your letter
(enclosing a shilling and two stamped envelopes)
to Charles Bilson (address given), and the thing
is done. Or, if you prefer it, visit one of the
agents of this enterprising firm, " stationed in
all the principal towns," and personally procure
your ticket for the great sweep. Frank Tenstun
offers like facilities, but not stooping to name
the number of subscribers to which he thinks it
wise to limit his kindness, he simply announces
the vast sums to be given away in prizes, and
the small sum required for one of his tickets.
Mr. Chancer flies at rather higher game, for his
chances range in price from one shilling to five,
and though his prizes are less splendid in
amount, he benevolently allows you to increase
the probability of obtaining them by purchasing
"seven tickets for the price of six."

If I wish to make my fortune in a different
way, and to decline the unscientific and
unskilled gambling of the lottery in favour of
betting on horses entered in forthcoming races,
my paper is ready for me. Blight and Lovenote
are, I read, " to be seen at the back of the Muse's
Brewery, daily," * and will execute my commissions,
if not less than one pound, to any amount.
So will Mr. Gather, of Great Bustle-street, or
Mr. Blebb, of nowhere in particular, or Mr.
Bolton, of whom I regret to read in another
part of my paper that, although advertising
"from Bloater's, Wiltshire-street," " the worthy
landlord of that hostelry has no connexion
with him, neither will he be answerable for
any transactions he may make under any
circumstances." If before investing money you
would like to secure trustworthy information,
you may, for two guineas annually, secure Judas's
Turf Circular and Betting Recorder, to be
delivered to you on every Saturday and Sunday
mornings throughout the year, with intelligence
of so mystic a character, that it can only be
read by aid of private telegraphic keys. Of
other people anxious to minister to your wants,
my paper is full. Biographies of the late Mr.
Sayers: white bull bitches, fillies, colts,
stallions, greyhounds, billiard-tables, cricket-bats,
skittle-pins, liniments for the spavin, embrocations
for sprains, liquid blisters for general lameness,
breech-loaders, boxing-gloves, and summer
drinks, are all to be had in unexceptionable
excellence, from advertisers in my sporting guide.
"Pop in your left," is the pleasant heading of
one of these advertisements, and "Bravery,
skill, manliness, courage, forbearance, and
unflinching prowess of true Britons," the key-note
of another. The first relates to the sale of
boxing-gloves, the second to departed professors of
the noble art for the encouragement of which
boxing-gloves were invented. Nor is my tutor
behindhand in the friendly warnings it gives its
pupils. Side by side with the engaging offers
of gentlemen who are to be " heard of" daily
from eleven to two, behind a brewery, or at the
bar of a tavern, are the answers to correspondents.
Many of these are of a highly significant
character. " Lynx " is tersely informed " they
are nothing but welshers;" " A Victim, Hack-
ney," learns, "you, too, have been welshed.
The card you sent us is not worth keeping;"
"H. E. B." elicits, "as soon as we are satisfied
they are dishonest we refuse their advertisements,"
which prompts the speculation as to
how much satisfaction my paper requires.
"Corkonian" is warned, " never put faith m any
such things;" " A Backer, ' that " we cannot
recommend" some list-keeper unnamed;
"Rustic," that something " is all nonsense,"
with the pertinent rider, " if not, how is it he
cannot make his own fortune first?" " W. H. T.,
of Bath," reads, "the simple answer is that
you have been done;" "Henry Mooney" is
congratulated " on saving his money, for Cowes,
alias Abel, is an old offender, and we have
continually warned the public against him;" and
poor Mooney learns further, for his consolation,
that Cowes, alias Abel, "has resorted to the
same ruffianly proceedings before, whenever he
las been disappointed of his prey." Mr. Gather,
on the other hand, is vouched for, as trustworthy
to any amount, and as the above extracts

* See AGAINST THE GRAIN, No. 345, page 442.