got them into conversation together. Major
and Mrs. Gordon helped at the good work
with their perfect ignorance of any existing
coolness between any of the inhabitants of
Cranford.

Ever since that day there has been the old
friendly sociability in Cranford society; which
I am thankful for, because of my dear Miss
Matey's love of peace and kindliness. We
all love Miss Matey, and I somehow think we
are all of us better when she is near us.

                     CHIPS.

    TWENTY GUINEA DIPLOMAS.

IN No. 151 of this Miscellany we pointed
out the danger of taking the designation of
"Doctor of Philosophy" for granted; and of
placing faith in a schoolmaster, a dentist, or a
country chemist (who may also be a licentiate
of the Excise Office for the sale of tea coffee
tobacco and snuff), because he has been rich
and unscrupulous enough to buy a title to
which he has no right. We mentioned that
certain individuals—who, if capable of honest
employment, are perhaps in want of it—have
the assurance to advertise their services to
procure diplomas from the Universities of
Giessen and Jena for persons, who, be they
ever so ignorant, are ambitious of writing
themselves down "Doctor."

Since the appearance of that "Chip,"
another mode of soliciting orders adopted
by these diplomatic touters has been
revealed to us; which for quaint business-like
effrontery deserves to be exposed. It consists
of a letter—we presume a circular—addressed
to the proprietors of private schools. One of
the gentlemen so addressed, regardless of the
confidence impudently thrust upon him, has
broken it by forwarding to us the epistle,
which is specially marked "private." We
conceal the writer's name, and will only state
that his communication is dated from a back
street near University College, London.
Should, therefore, any budding schoolmaster
burst forth too suddenly into a full-blown
doctor, it may be shrewdly guessed that the
honour has not been conferred in reward of
his literary attainments, but in consequence
of his having received a letter, of which the
following is a copy:—

"Sir,—It having been suggested that the
higher class members of the Scholastic
Profession should be distinguished from the
unqualified by the assumption of a Doctor's
degree from some distinguished foreign
University, should your views coincide, I shall be
happy to give you the information relative to
the necessary certificates, &c., which I have
obtained at a considerable expenditure of time
and labour.

"The object being to restrain from graduating
any others than those to whom direct
communication is made, you are requested to
consider this as confidential as your reply
shall be.

"I am, sir, your obedient servant,

"________.

"The fees will be under twenty guineas,
and personal attendance or examination not
essential."

Some months ago there appeared in the
London Gazette a notice of the dissolution of
a scholastic partnership in the neighbourhood
of London, which was signed by one of the
teachers of youth with "his mark." We
wonder whether that gentleman was one of
"the higher class members of the Scholastic
Profession" who is, in virtue of twenty guineas,
or "under" a Doctor of Philosophy.

DIFFUSION OF KNOWLEDGE AMONG CATTLE.
                                          Elbing, March, 1853.

I CAN add a fact to notes already collected
in your journal on the subject of intercommunication
of ideas among the lower animals.

There is a large shallow inlet on the
Prussian shore known as the Frische Haff,
crossed for the first time by steamers ten or
twelve years ago. Upon their way the
vessels paddle by a common near the Elbing
river upon which the townspeople turn cattle
out to graze. When the first steamers passed
this common they caused every flank of beef
to quake; such fiends in dragon shape had
never appeared before to try the nerves of any
cow, or to excite wrath in the bully bosom of
the most experienced among the warriors of
the herd. With tails erect, therefore, and
heads bent down, the whole colony upon the
common charged over dykes and ditches
inland, roaring horribly. Every appearance
of the steamer, to the great joy of the crew,
caused a panic and a scattering of oxen, until,
after a few days, the animals had become
hardened to the sight and took it as a thing
of course which meant no harm to them.

Now all the horned beasts on the common
during that first year, were, in the usual way,
placed there to be fatted. In the following
spring they had gone the way of beef, and
their place was filled by a new generation
altogether. So soon, therefore, as the Haff
was clear of ice, and the steamers again began
to ply daily upon the route between Elbing
and Königsberg, the sailors were on the alert
again to witness the old scene of uproar by
the water side.

But they were disappointed. Though there
was the pasture-ground well stocked with
new recruits for the market who had come
from distant inland farms or out of stalls
within the town, though scarcely one of them
—if any one—had ever seen the apparition of
a steamboat, not a cow flinched. The
members of the whole herd went on grazing or
stared imperturbably at the phenomenon. It
was a new thing no doubt for them to see—
but they had already been told of it.

Every spring the first passing of the