far as figures were concerned, if I were not
a Cocker exactly, I was very well acquainted
with his system of ciphering.

When I went to Calcutta it was understood
that I was to remain in India for
twenty-one years, and then retire on a
pension of a thousand pounds a-year for the
rest of my life.

While I was "in college in Fort William"
—(by the way there was, and is, no college
whatever. A young civilian lived where he
liked, and how he liked— spent as much
money as he liked—ran in debt as much as
he liked, and read as much or as little as he
liked)—I employed a Moonshee to teach
me Hindoostanee and Persian. Poor wretch!
he tried very hard, but to no purpose; for I
was alike deficient in capacity and perseverance.

However, what I wanted in ability I
compensated for by good-nature, and became
exceedingly popular, with all persons in and
out of the service. Even as a youngster I
was known as and called Old Swivel.

My year "in college" having expired, I
was "passed." That was managed for me,
as well as for several others, who could not
stand the Moonshee. My first appointment
was in the Customs' Department, where I
never did anything but sign my name to a
variety of Hindoostanee documents, which I
never read, and did not understand. This
work occupied me about twenty minutes
every day, for I did not write my name in
full, but only my initials. The pay was five
hundred rupees a month (six hundred pounds
a year). Billiards, whist, and other pastimes
were the business of my life, for we never
played for love, but for money. From the
Customs, after two years' " service," I was
promoted into the Salt Department. This
was easier for me; for my seniors were both
zealous men, and did all the work themselves.
My pay was now seven hundred
rupees a month, eight hundred and forty
pounds a year. From the Salt Department
I went into the Treasury on an increase of
pay. Here I did absolutely nothing, nor did
any of the European officials do much. The
natives—the Baboos, very clever fellows—
managed the affairs capitally for us and
for themselves. They were, it is true,
once detected in a fraud. But what was it,
after all? Only to the extent of a paltry
three lacs—thirty thousand pounds; a mere
flea-bite, considering the sums that they
fingered annually.

When I had been seven years in Calcutta,
I was qualified, as far as standing in the
service was concerned, for a magistracy in
the Mofussil (interior), and the first one that
became vacant I applied for and obtained.
It was a station called Moughyr, on the
Ganges, a charming station for a sportsman,
as I always was in India. There were lots
of panthers and bears in the hills, and very
fair snipe shooting on the opposite side of the
river. I was now my own master, on eighteen
hundred pounds a-year, and with a noble
fellow as my assistant. Bless him! He
loved work as much as I hated it, and his
heart was as much in the service as mine
was out of it. If, however, I had wished to
do anything for my pay, I could not; for,
beyond giving orders to my personal servants,
most of whom understood English, I could
hold no conversation with the natives, and
could not understand any document that was
read out to me in court. What a delightful
life, to be sure, was that I led when magistrate
at Moughyr. But further blessings
still were in store for me. When I was ripe
for a judgeship, I applied for one then vacant
in Tirhost, the garden of India. Here I was
in clover. The majority of the planters in
the district were gentlemen by birth and
education, and the most hospitable set of
men imaginable. My brother civilians, the
magistrate, collector and assistants, and the
civil surgeon were also delightful companions.
We kept between us a pack of hounds to
hunt jackalls. We had excellent shooting.
We gave dinner and evening parties
continually. I lived in a large house, a palace
in fact, which belonged to the Rajah of
Durbungah, who could never be prevailed
upon to send in a bill for the rent—one
hundred and fifty pounds a-year. Whenever
I wanted a change of air and scene, there
was Dinapore, not more than three hours'
ride, and where there were also quartered a
regiment of European Foot, and a regiment
of Native Infantry. Then every cold season,
at the Kajeepore fair, we had races, where
some hundred and fifty gentlemen and ladies
from the adjacent districts would assemble
and form a large camp. It was a charming
sight, those scores of snow-white tents pitched
under the shade of huge mango trees, and
peopled by English men, women, and children,
while the countless myriads of Asiatics
came from far and near to bathe in the holy
waters of the Gauges and the Gunduk, which
rivers there mingle their waters.

But what about my work? Do you ask
me that, reader? Well, to be candid, I had
a nazir, head native official, who did it all
for me. I had nothing to do but to sign the
decrees he handed to me. People said this
man grew very rich; but what was that to
me? I was not such a fool as to pry into his
private affairs; and I would not have parted
with him for the whole world (comparatively
speaking), so completely had he identified
himself with my tastes, wishes, and habits.
I was obliged, of course, to sit in court for a
few hours every day. This was a great bore
at first; but as I had a large punkah placed
over the bench, and beneath it a spring couch,
on which I used to recline and read a novel,
whilst I smoked my hookah. The natives, I
doubt not, thought the novel some law book
—not that I cared for native opinion. Whenever
I pulled my handkerchief over my face