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are to be procured. Now suppose, just at
this critical moment, that a smiling and Right
Hon. Gent, encounters our M.P., and asks him
if his young ladies are going to this same ball.
Suppose that the Right Hon. Gent., on learning
that the Miss Deelishes have not received invitation,
expressed surprise, and says, " My dear
Deelish, I think I can set that matter right for
you" and suppose, further, that just as the
Right Honourable is parting with the grateful
Savourneen, he says, in a light and pleasant
manner, "By-the-by, Deelish, I suppose we
have your vote in that Trafalgar-square affair?"
Suppose all this, I say, will any one tell me that
this is otherwise than a most delightful and
creditable arrangement, and one that does equal
honour to both parties concerned in it? Yet
this is anticipative remuneration. It is possible
that such things may have happened, and that
the number of cards of invitation granted to the
Deelish family correspond exactly with the
number of votes which the great Savourneen is
able to collect among his friends and fellow-
representatives of the Emerald Isle.

And now, to go on with our imaginary cases,
let us suppose again that of a great and
eminent critic. How pleasingly are his arduous
and painful duties relieved and lightened by the
little attentions which he receives at the hands
of those whose work he has the power to
censure or praise. How pleasant it is to see such
a man receiving his just dues. Suppose him in
the society of some half-fledged literary genius,
that poor bantling can only take short hopping
flights along the hedge-rows of Parnassus, is it
wonderful that he should seek to propitiate that
terrible hawk of a critic who may pounce down
upon him at any moment. Well, suppose that
hawk likes to be soothed with flattery, suppose
his nerves require it, is it not an excellent
arrangement that our young poet should say all
sorts of pleasant and flattering things, and put
our critic in good humour with himself and with
the unfledged one also? or suppose that our
poet is a well-connected poet with a Titled
Relative, and suppose that Mrs. Hawk is an
ambitious lady who is possessed of one of those
card-baskets in which the best-looking cards will
ooze to the surface, is it not a good and salutary
thing that the Titled Relative's card should
find its way into Mrs. Hawk's card-basket, and
that an agreeable notice of the works of the well-
connected poet should find its way into the
columns of Hawk's paper.

Or suppose that Hawk is an Art critic, and
that he has condescended to pay a visit to the
atelier of some illustrious, but as yet unknown,
artist. How ominously silent he is, how
dangerous he looks, what an awful personage.
There is menace in his every word and gesture.
Woe to the artist who treads upon that man's
corn. Now, suppose as he looks round the
studio that his eye lights upon a little study by
an artist, prettily framed, and altogether an
attractive and desirable little picture; suppose
Hawk were to say, "Upon my word, my young
friend, but that is a very charming ' bit,' a very
charming bitI think I know a corner in Mrs.
Hawk's boudoir that it would fit to perfection,
and where it would show to great advantage,
and in every way advance your reputation, my
young friend." Is it not natural that the
"young friend" should send that " bit" up to
Mrs. Hawk without delay? Is not this natural
and right, and just and equitable? It is just
as it should be, and were I in Hawk's position
and in want of a side-board, or a set of bed-
curtains, I would seek out some rising
upholsterer and would tell him that I was so struck
with his side-boards and bed-furniture that I
wished to write a laudatory description of them,
but could not do so unless I had them in my own
house to look at. And if that upholsterer ever
ventured to send for them back again, I would
straightway announce to the world in leaded
type that of all the cracking, ill-put-together,
ramshackle, outlandish side-boards, and of all
the rotten and unseemly bed-furniture which
could be got in London, those provided by that
ungrateful upholsterer were the worst and the
most fusty. One good turn deserves another,
and so does a bad turn, or I am no logician.

I vow and declare that I think such arrangements
as we have been considering are the most
comfortable and snug things conceivable.
SupposeI am never tired of supposingsuppose
that I am fond of smoking, and like especially
to indulge in that soothing pastime when I am
travelling by railway, what can I do better than
offer a glass of brandy-and-water to the guard of
the train by which I am travelling, just before
starting? Here is another instance of the
dovetailing together of mutual interests. The guard
would like a glass of brandy-and-water, and I
should like a cigarwell the guard gets his
brandy and water and I get my cigar. As to
talking about this being an infraction of rules,
that is all nonsense. So it is to say that if many
persons were to act upon this system it would
be possible that the guard might get so many
glasses of brandy-and-water as would render him
liable to mistakes in connexion with signals and
breaks which might lead to unpleasant results.
Pooh!

Have we not the highest and best precedents
for such little compacts as these which I
advocate so strongly. Surely, it is a high and good
thing to be a legislator in this great and noble
country. When a gentleman wants to attain
this position, does he not occasionally have
recourse to the practice of anticipative
remuneration? Say that there is a vacancy in the
Borough of Ginsbury, what is the footing on which
matters are placed at a very early state of the
poll? A gentleman wants a seat in Parliament,
the Ginsbury electors want three thousand
pounds. The gentleman provides the three
thousand pounds, and the Ginsbury electors
provide the seat in Parliament. Who can say
anything against this?

Sometimes such things are managed without
a single word about money being spoken
throughout the whole transaction. A cheerful
and propitiatory candidate is seized just about

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